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Family Counseling

Family Counseling does NOT work in families where domestic violence has occurred!

In a family where members are struggling to get along, some people may advise you to get family counseling. While this can be good advice for some families, it is NOT good for families where there is violence. In fact, in many cases, family counseling has increased the violence in the home.

Family counseling does not work because:

  • Family counseling places the responsibility for change on family members. Domestic violence is the sole responsibility of the abuser.
  • Family counseling works best when people are truthful. Individuals who are abusive to their family minimize, deny and blame, and therefore are not truthful in counseling.
  • Families resolve problems in counseling by talking about problems. His abuse is not a family problem, it is his problem. He needs to work on it in a specialized program for abusers. A victim who is being abused in a family is in a dangerous position in family counseling. If she tells the counselor about the abuse, she is likely to suffer more abuse when she gets home. If she does not tell, nothing can be accomplished.

If you think you will benefit from family counseling, go AFTER he successfully completes a batterer's intervention program and is no longer violent.

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